A TEDx talk about what happens when church advice no longer matches the dating reality many Christian singles are navigating.
After hearing some version of "Christian dating sucks" for what felt like the thousandth time, I started paying closer attention.
At first, it was just the people sitting across from me in singles ministry. Then it became readers. Podcast listeners. People I'd never met sending emails and messages from all over the world.
The more conversations I had, the harder it became to ignore what I eventually started calling the elephant in the sanctuary — the growing gap between the number of women and men in many churches.
For decades, we've largely talked about Christian dating as though everyone was navigating the same environment. They weren't.
This talk explores what happens when demographic reality quietly changes but the advice doesn't—and how that gap has reshaped the experience of modern Christian singleness.
My hope is that it gives Christian singles language for experiences they've been carrying for years while helping pastors, church leaders, and anyone who cares about them better understand the world they're navigating.